Not Ready
by The Tainted Queen
Summary: She's stuck in the past facing the what ifs of yesterday, and the hauntingly familiar face that passes her by only makes it that much harder.


**Pairing:** Orihime x Ulquiorra  
**Rating:** K  
**Summary: **She's stuck in the past facing the what ifs of yesterday and the hauntingly familiar face that passes her by only makes it that much harder.  
**Author Note: **Not sure if I should continue it or not, so for now it's a one-shot until otherwise. Please review!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach or the characters used.

* * *

She sees him on the subway, the strikingly familiar green eyes and similar facial features and her heart skips a beat. _It can't be him_, she thinks but follows after the figure anyway, pushing and shoving through the crowded subway shouting apologies as she makes her way off. Her breath is catching in her throat and she's so close, so close to him and her hand reaches out grasping his shoulder and whirling him around to face her.

He looks almost the exact same, but his striking green eyes don't recognize her in any form as she stares up at them, catching her breath with a hand placed over her heaving chest.(Had she really run that fast to catch up to him?) He waits for a moment, his hands in his pockets in a similar fashion that she remembers so well, accompanied by the same facial expression that revealed nothing to her.(Oh shinigami how he looked so familiar)

"I-"

She starts, standing up straight with her hand dropping to clutch her purse to her tightly. Facial features flushing in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry." She laments, biting her lip. "You just looked familiar."

He stares at her a while longer before he bothers to respond.

"Are you looking for someone?"

Grey eyes meet beautiful green.

"No, he's gone. You just looked so much like him and I let my emotions get ahead of myself."

Her face is crestfallen and she stares at her own two feet, he is unsure of how to make the situation better but it's already unbearably awkward. Then suddenly she's looking up at him, smiling brightly as if the heartbreaking vulnerability he had seen seconds prior never happened.

"Ahaha, I'm really sorry about that. I'll let you be on your way, have a good day!"

She turns around and rushes back to the subway station, already knowing that the one she was on to her destination had left and she would be stuck there for another hour. And he watches her leave, her auburn hair leaving a trail behind her like the sun's own paintbrush.

He notices that her smile didn't reach her eyes.

* * *

She sits on the bench quietly, head bowed and hands crossed on her lap as she hunches over and stares at her feet. Grey eyes glisten with un-shed tears and sniffles that go by unnoticed by the busy subway station. She's so bitter and full of resentment and she hates herself for it, she didn't do anything to save him those two years ago and wonders what it would be like if she had. If Ichigo never had to go to such measures to _save _her, if she had been strong enough to save herself.(But if she had saved herself, she would have never met him, she thinks solemnly) She's angry and she's bitter, her friends have moved on with their lives and she's happy for them she really is, but she's stuck with the what ifs of the past. She's angry at Ichigo she's angry at them all for taking him away,(but knows she really can't blame any of them) but most of all she's angry at herself for not trying harder, for not attempting anything other than reaching out for his disintegrating hand.

A sob escapes her throat at the memory and she covers her mouth and nose with her hands, and keeps her head bowed away from the prying eye. Her long hair has become a shield as her pins lay in her purse, she doesn't need them anymore really, she has no one left to heal or save. For the powers who were said to overstep the boundaries of God, she really sucked at wielding them, because the things she wants to save are long gone now and even she can't bring back the dead.

Her train passes by again but she's not ready to go home yet. She's not ready to be alone in a quiet room again. Not ready for the sleepless nights, the bitter resentment, and the endless what ifs. She's not ready to leave him behind.


End file.
